Do You Remember?
by Art-Over-Matter
Summary: Sebastian is back in STEM and all he wants is to get out. But he never expected the key would involve someone he never thought he'd see again...
1. Chapter 1

Surrounded.

Again.

There was no surprise, no panic at this point. Just the fight.

Sebastian slung his shotgun off his back and fired at the two creatures closest to him. The single shot sent shrapnel into both of their chests and necks, knocking them back but not killing them. Five shells left.

He heard a hiss behind him and swung around hard, the butt of the shotgun slamming to the Haunted's jaw, severely unhinging it and sending the creature stumbling away from him. He pumped the shotgun and fired, blowing the head off the stunned one just as another wobbled forward and slashed at him savagely with a knife. The blade ripped open his shirt and cut into his upper arm, but it didn't slow him down. He ducked a second swing and swept a kick into the side of the Haunted's knee, knocking her over.

Dodge, kick, fire, reload. It was a routine Sebastian knew well. He thought he'd killed all of them—some eight or so—when a gun exploded from behind him and pain lacerated his leg, sending him down on one knee. He pulled out his pistol and turned, firing toward the masked Haunted behind him. The shot missed and the creature fired again. Sebastian tried to move, but his range was limited and part of the explosion from the sawed-off shotgun sent needles of pain into his side.

Then blood burst from the side of the Haunted's neck, where now the grip of a knife protruded. Sebastian kept his pistol in one hand as he fumbled for the syringe in his pocket with the other. A hand drew the knife away—Seb did his best to move away so the body wouldn't fall on him—and the killer was revealed.

No.

The syringe dropped out of his hand and hit the floor with a small _clink._

"You looked like you needed some help," she said nonchalantly. A streak of blood marked her cheek.

Sebastian struggled to his feet and leveled the gun at her head. "What the fuck are you?"

"Well that's no way to talk to someone who just saved your life," she said with a defiant eyebrow. "Look, I know it's hard to believe, but you're not the only sane human left in here, so relax. What's your name?"

Sebastian kept his gun up, but not directly aimed at her, and pressed his other hand against the wound in his side. "What's… _my_ name?" he choked. His expression dove into a scowl. "What's yours?"

She gave the barrel of the pistol a skeptical glance and said, "Myra. Myra Castellanos. You—"

" _No_ ," Sebastian growled, pointing the revolver at her forehead. He started to move forward, his pain forgotten despite the blood seeping through his fingers, and backed her up toward the wall. "Don't use that name."

She glowered at him, backing away from his advance but not appearing threatened otherwise. "I think I know my own name, you lunatic. What's wrong with you?"

" _You're not her._ " She could go no farther and the barrel of the pistol lightly pressed against her head. "Tell me what you are, get out of here, or I shoot."

"I'm just like you," she snapped, "maybe minus the crazy. I've been stuck here for—I don't know how long. Days, maybe. A week. My name is Myra Castellanos. I work for Krimson City Police Department—or I did before everything when to shit and I ended up here. I don't remember what happened between there."

He could see the truth in her steely gray eyes and the way she looked at him with measured confidence, even at the wrong end of a gun. It was either a particularly stunning illusion or….

He stepped away, slowly lowering the weapon, then turned with a grunt back toward the syringe he'd dropped.

She looked young. Not as young as when they first met, or when they had Lily. But he was sure she seemed younger than she should be now, maybe slightly younger than when she'd left.

But maybe…maybe he just didn't remember. It had been so long….

He shook his head and limped back to the syringe, picking it up and pressing the needle into his arm.

"Do I know you?" Myra asked cautiously.

He turned halfway to her, but didn't look at her. "Do you recognize me?"

"No." The answer was immediate, but not rushed like a lie. "But you said I'm not _her._ Do you know me?"

He hesitated, then turned away again. It was easier to talk to her when he wasn't looking at her. "No," he replied coldly. "I don't."

He sensed another raised eyebrow from her, but she seemed to know she wasn't about to get through his defenses.

"So are you going to tell me who _you_ are?" she asked.

The serum in the syringe worked unreasonably fast. The pain in his side was almost gone and his leg was good enough to put weight on.

"Sebastian Ca—" He stopped himself. "Just call me Sebastian. I was a detective for…another city," he said vaguely.

"How long have you been here? I'm going to wager a lot longer than I have."

He pulled the dead Haunted's shotgun ammunition from him and pulled his own gun off his back to reload it. "I don't know how long it's been. I lost track."

"I think we should stick together, Sebastian. You're the first person I've found here and I think we'll have a better chance of getting out if we stay together."

He looked at her briefly, then brushed past her to get to the doorway. "No."

"What? Why?"

She was following him.

"You're not even real," he said, refusing to look at her. "You're just a figment of this fucked-up world."

"I think that's _my_ call, not yours."

He shook his head and kept walking.

"Detective," she said firmly, in that Myra voice that he knew meant he had to turn back and look at her. Still, he fixed her with a hesitant frown. "Neither of us have any clue how long we might be here, and there's a chance one of us might end up dead if we don't stay together." She gestured back the way they'd come to indicate the Haunted she'd killed for him.

He glanced between her eyes for a moment, trying to repress the flood of memories that came back to him now that he was looking at her and she seemed so…real. So _present_.

He wished he had alcohol.

"Fine," he said flatly. And he kept walking. What harm could it do if she wasn't real, anyway?

He heard her take a deep breath and let it out slowly enough it couldn't quite be a sigh. It meant she was annoyed and trying not to show it.

"What is this place?" she asked. "Do you know?"

"The remnants of a madman's mind," he said, with a glance at their surroundings. The building was mostly concrete, stained with grime and blood and mildew. Though it didn't appear to be a hospital, the occasional wheelchair could be found in the corner of a room. Other times, it was a bathtub full of intestines.

"Someone who's seen some shit," she commented. "Why are we here?"

"I don't know. At this point? I don't care. I just need a way out."

"Any idea how to find that?"

He paused. "No."


	2. Chapter 2

Myra followed Sebastian as he made his way purposefully to some kind of destination. He didn't seem to be looking for a way out like she thought; he was going back somewhere.

How long had he been here? His white button-up shirt and vest were torn and stained with blood; some splatters from enemies, some larger, darker patches from his own veins. His leather pistol holster was worn and scratched, the shotgun and crossbow that he both somehow fit onto his back were old, rusted, and stained.

He was all but infuriating to Myra, yet she felt she didn't have a choice but to stay nearby. If nothing else because he had weapons she didn't—maybe if she could swipe that revolver, she could leave. It would be better than her knife and single grenade.

There was something else, too. He wasn't familiar to her—too rugged, too distant to be anyone she'd ever known, or she would remember him—but she somehow had a very thorough understanding of him. Not his life, but his emotions. Even though he was a closed, chained, and safe-locked book, she understood what he was thinking.

Eventually he led her up a flight of stairs and into a small, attic-like area with pipes running across the walls and ceiling, some so low she had to duck under them. It was cold up here, and damp, but it was cleaner than most of the places she'd been so far. At the corner of the room, there was a thin bedroll, a lantern, a trench coat, and a sniper rifle.

"You can actually carry all that?" Myra asked with mild surprise. It wasn't a lot, really, but the four different types of weapons he had were something of a mystery.

"Not often. I find a new place to stay every few days so I can keep one weapon and a few things here while I scope out the area." He looked at the sniper rifle, then gave Myra a brief but scrutinizing look, then handed it to her. "It didn't used to be like this," he continued, hooking the lantern to his hip and rolling up the bedroll. "There used to be somewhere…else…I could go. A different layer of this nightmare. But I haven't found it again after I got—back."

"Back? This is your second time here?"

She could see the haunted expression behind his façade. "Yes."

Once he had gathered everything, he left without another word. She hesitated for a moment before following. She hadn't failed to see the three white scratches on the wall, like tally marks.

 _Lost track, huh?_

Not far from that, on the floor, there was a document halfway slid into a folder stamped CONFIDENTIAL, which Sebastian had completely ignored. With a frown, she picked it up and skimmed through the page. It looked like a scientific or medical record of some sort:

Day 1:

System still down. Pt vital signs fluctuating but not threatened.

Day 2:

Pt unconscious but seems disturbed. Thrashing, groaning, often coinciding with system activation.

Day 3:

Pt vital signs approaching critical. System running.

Day 4:

Integration beginning. Vital signs still near critical.

Day 5:

Integration successful.

She shook her head. What did it mean, and why was it here? And why were there clear tally marks of days Sebastian had spent here when he said he'd lost count? What was his purpose in lying to her? He trusted her with his sniper rifle, but not with how long he'd been in this hellhole?

She started back down the stairs and caught up to him as quickly as possible so he wouldn't notice she'd been snooping. She was about to speak when everything rippled in front of her. Heavy waves not only through the air, but through the walls and floor and everything. Each wave throbbed in her ears as it went by.

Sebastian turned around, an almost panicked expression on his face, and started to say her name, but then he was gone, and she was gone.

She was in a different room now. She straightened—not even realizing she had crouched to brace herself. The room around her was dim, but not dark. It was lit by four candles sitting on the only object in the room: a large desk in front of an even larger corkboard. She took a glance at the rest of the room; brown-orange, peeling walls, scratched wooden floor still holding onto some gloss. It could've been cozy, once, but now it seemed old and dilapidated.

And there was no door.

A shot of adrenaline—panic—coursed through when she saw there was no way out, but she took a deep breath and stepped up to the corkboard. One thing at a time.

It looked like a diorama of madness. News articles, maps, a few book pages, blue string and tacks. Someone's scribbled, almost unreadable handwriting in various type of writing utensils, even highlighters. As if the writer had been so crowded with thoughts that they'd had to snatch the nearest thing and put down a thought before it disappeared. As she got closer to the papers, she could smell the faint, sour musk of cigarettes.

One paper caught her eye, even though it was partially covered by a newspaper clipping.

Because it was her.

"MYRA CASTELLANOS" it said in large print at the bottom, below a picture of her. "MISSING" it said at the top.

She frowned at the picture and leaned closer. She could tell it had been taken while she was at work; her hair was tightly smoothed back into a bun and she must have had contacts in, rather than the glasses she wore at home. Still, something about it seemed odd. She couldn't remember when it was taken, which wasn't terribly strange, but…unless it was lighting, her hair almost looked a little grayer than it was now. And why was it here? Was this sign out because she was gone, into STEM? If so, how did it end up in here? No one in the system should know about it if she had been here only a week.

And the map…it was a map of Krimson City and some of the surrounding area, some places marked with pins and others with circles of red pen. Most of the locations were familiar to her, not just because she lived in that city, but because she had a particular connection with those places. But it must have been coincidence; only someone who knew her well would know of all those connections.

She looked down at the desk. There was a single unmarked folder on it, which she opened to find more pictures of herself looking back. It was her file from KCPD. Was this part of _her_ memory?

She flipped to the back of the folder. The last page was another copy of the "missing" flyer, but this time the word "Why?" with two questions marks was written to the right of her picture. The word, scribbled in the same slanting handwriting as on the diorama, struck her and she looked back up at the corkboard.

This person was looking for her.

"You don't remember any of it, do you?"

She started slightly and turned. Sebastian's shrouded expression didn't match the slightly bitter tone she had heard in his voice.

"How did you…?" she started to ask, but trailed off when she saw the door behind him. She was certain it hadn't been there before. "What do you mean?"

He stepped up to the desk next to her, looking at the mess of papers darkly, and it only occurred to her then that he, too, smelled slightly like cigarettes.

"This was you?" she asked, partly in awe and partly in horror.

He turned his head from her to look at nothing on the floor. "It doesn't matter. We should go." He turned and headed for the door.

"Wait," she demanded, catching his arm. "Don't you dare just walk away again. This," she said with a gesture to the board, "this is madness. This is _obsession_ , and I need to know why." She let go of him. "Look at you! You won't even make eye contact with me. You say you don't know me, but you're expecting me to remember you. I saw the look on your face when you first saw me. Something is going on here and if it involves me, I need to know."

To her surprise and slight annoyance, Sebastian smiled a bit. It was a weary kind of smile, but it was there, for a moment. Then he shook his head. "What's your maiden name, Myra?"

This question caught her so off-guard it took her a moment to comprehend it. "I—it's…." She frowned. It was almost as though she had been about to say one. "What do you mean? I'm not married."

"Your name wasn't Castellanos," he said, looking at her carefully. "It was Hanson."

When she looked at him like he was insane, he moved closer and reached down to pull a file from one of the desk drawers. He offered it to her.

"It's my file," he said. "From KCPD."

She took it with a frown. "From…?" But she didn't finish. She opened the file to find a picture of Sebastian—a much younger Sebastian, with shorter, neater hair, a clean-shaven face, and an actually tightened tie—and some information about him.

Including a name.

Sebastian Castellanos.

She stared at it for a long time, and she wasn't even sure if she was surprised. It didn't seem wrong, exactly. But when she looked up at the man in front of her, who was watching her expression with slightly narrowed eyes, she couldn't associate him with the word _husband._

She looked back down at the file. Thinking back, trying to remember, it occurred to her how little she could recall. Not just about this, or about how she got into STEM, but about _everything_. So many gaps in her life, so many things that didn't make sense, it was as though she didn't…actually…know who she was.

Suddenly, her knees buckled and she almost fell. Sebastian caught her by the elbows as the file and papers scattered to the floor by their feet. She grabbed his forearms and pulled herself back up, then gently pushed him away, her eyes fixed on the ground as she processed everything.

"So I…I'm married to you," she said slowly. "And this…." She turned back to the corkboard. "This was all your attempt to…?"

" _Find you_ ," he said. "Find out what you were looking for. You left, Myra. You left after Lily was gone and I had to find out why—"

"Lily? Oh god, don't tell me…."

"Our daughter," he answered, confirming her fear.

This time she sat back against the desk. How much of her life was missing? Was anything she remembered even real? This all seemed insane, but somehow she knew it wasn't fake.

The ground shook beneath them. Something was pounding behind her, something huge a few rooms away.

"We need to go," Sebastian said in a warning tone.

She couldn't get herself to move. The pounding got louder, and a _boom_ sounded from whatever room was directly behind her. This time she could hear debris spread across the floor.

"We need to go," Sebastian said again, less of a warning and more of a demand. He grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the desk, forcing her to start moving. Then together they ran as the wall exploded behind them.


	3. Chapter 3

Sebastian and emotions were not best friends. He'd done well pushing off what he felt about having Myra here for a while, but it was getting harder each minute. When the world had started to ripple and he knew everything was about to change, he'd actually allowed himself to panic. Now that Myra was here, the idea that she was about to disappear and he might not find her again was painful, even terrifying. Whether or not she was actually real—and he was almost letting himself to believe she was—seemed irrelevant if, for some time, he was able to talk to her again.

But now was not a good time to be emotional.

The hall they ran through was narrow enough that he hoped it was too small for whatever was pursuing them. Still, he could hear a kind of roaring and pounding, and the tearing of the walls being ripped apart.

"Sebastian," Myra called as she stopped behind him. He stopped and turned back. "In here," she said, opening the door to small, dark room.

It was against his instinct to hide, but she was probably right. They might not outrun this thing.

He glanced back down the hallway as he ducked into the room. He didn't get a good look at the creature, but it moved in a catlike fashion, its shoulders so wide it had to claw its way through the walls to keep moving. Even so, it was fast.

Myra rushed in behind him and closed the door quickly, but quietly. The room must have been a maintenance closet of sorts; there was a water heater, some copper pipes, and a few cleaning items. It was barely big enough for the two to move around in.

The ruckus of the creature got closer until the corner of the room was ripped open, just enough to let a sliver of yellowish light in from the hall. Then the monster stopped. Seb watched its shadow pass by the opening and he could hear its snarling breaths. He heard Myra's quiet gasp as she started to hold her breath. They both backed up into the far corner of the closet.

The creature backed up to the crack in the boards again and started to press what must have been its nose—he could only see the silhouette—to it, trying to sniff them out.

"Don't touch your guns," Myra breathed so quietly he could barely hear her over the hum of the water heater and the snorting of the creature. Then she knelt, took out her knife, and started to saw through something on the wall.

Sebastian frowned in confusion but didn't move, keeping his eyes trained on the monster as it batted a paw toward the crack, pulling off a few more boards.

Then he started to smell gas. The sharp, pungent odor of natural gas permeated the closet quickly as Myra stood up.

The smell must have hit the creature's nose as it backed up with a sneeze. It tried sniffing again, only it get the same overwhelming scent of gas. It growled and started to claw its way back the direction it had come.

As soon as it was far enough they couldn't hear it, Myra burst out of the closet, gasping for breath, Sebastian right behind her. Once he'd cleared his lungs mostly of the smell, he started to laugh, still coming off the adrenaline high.

"That was the fucking stupidest thing you could've done," he told her. He wasn't exactly sure why he was laughing, but it was something he hadn't done in a long time.

"I thought I was clever," she said through a smile, no hint of insult on her face.

He shook his head. "It was brilliant," he admitted, "but stupid."

She gave him a smug sort of smile that he'd had no clue how much he missed, and then said, "Come on, we shouldn't stay here."

He nodded and they kept on down the hallway. He was thankful for when it turned and they wouldn't be in the creature's line of sight if it happened to head back down this way.

The halls eventually gave way to an entrance room where a small, rusty chandelier lay broken on the floor. Sebastian took a moment to pull the shotgun off his back and hand it to Myra.

"Here. If we encounter that thing or some more Haunted again, you'll want this."

"Thanks," she said, taking it and moving the rifle to her back. "Sebastian," she said before he could reach the door.

He turned back with a cocked eyebrow.

She just nodded. She had a thoughtful frown on her face. "I'm starting to remember. I don't know if that makes you feel better, but…I am. I don't remember details, but…things here and there. I wish I could remember more. I don't know how we met or when we got married, but I know you." She stepped close enough to run the back of her index finger down his jaw. He instinctively leaned away at first, but then just stopped and watched her. She was being tender in a way that he'd only seen a handful of times during their time together.

"I understand you as if I've known you for years," she continued. "And hell, I—I miss you, even though I'm not entirely sure who you are."

"I missed you too, Myra. You have no idea." He reached up and took her hand in his and used the other to push back a strand of hair that had fallen from its band. She never let her hair free of being pulled back for very long. "There's somewhere we should go," he said. "I think it'll help you remember."

"Can you find it in here?" she asked.

"Maybe. Come on."

He led her out of the building and into an old courtyard, where a fountain gurgled blood down its sides. Back into this nightmare.

Looking around, he couldn't immediately get his bearings. This wasn't a place he recognized, unlike—surprisingly—many of the places he'd been since going back into STEM. There weren't many other buildings around. Dammit, if only they were somewhere in Krimson City. He knew that place better than anything.

A sudden stab of pain shot through his head and he doubled over, bringing his palms to his temples.

"Seb?" Myra asked, as if from far away.

The pain reached such a crescendo that he could hardly keep from shouting out, and then it stopped. He shook his head as if to clear the memory of the sensation, then straightened. There was still a throb behind his eyes and he felt lightheaded, but he could think again. They were somewhere different now, somewhere familiar. He turned to look at Myra, but instead faced a Haunted who looked all too much like her. It reached out toward him, hissing, its glowing eyes locked to his. He stumbled backward and felt for his pistol, but he knew he couldn't shoot.

 _No. No! Don't take her away from me, not now._

"Sebastian!"

Seb blinked and the pressure behind his eyes disappeared. There was no Haunted to be found—Myra was in front of him with her hands on his shoulders, looking just as she had before. He was on his knees, one hand on his pistol.

"No one's taking me anywhere," Myra said, looking at him warily.

"What the fuck…" he muttered, not really as a question, as he got to his feet. He'd said that aloud?

"Are you okay?"

He nodded and waved a hand to indicate it was of no consequence, then looked around. They were back in Krimson City, just as he'd wanted.

"Everything rippled and changed again," Myra said, also glancing around. "It seemed like it was coming from you."

His gaze snapped back to her with a frown. "Me? No. Only…only they could do that."

"They? Who?"

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. We shouldn't be far from where I was going to take you."


	4. Chapter 4

The fact that Sebastian was still keeping things from her despite being her husband, apparently, was more than annoying to Myra, but she tried not to show it. After all, she didn't quite trust him. As much as she felt drawn to his familiarity, she still felt bewildered by everything she was missing.

Myra followed him through the streets of the city, which was eerily abandoned. She vaguely recognized some of the buildings, but they looked much older now, some completely derelict.

After some time, she spoke.

"How long have you been here, really?"

"Didn't you already ask that?" he said absentmindedly. He was looking around a lot, as if he was lost, but she could tell he wasn't.

"You didn't give me an answer then."

"A long time. It feels like forever."

She growled a bit in impatience. "Why—"

"Four months," he said suddenly, turning. "It's been almost four months, Myra."

She stopped. "What?"

"I was here a long time before you showed up. Nothing ever changed then. Everything was a routine. New places, same threats. No matter where I went, there was no sign of leaving. Then you appeared, and…beside the fact that I thought I'd never see you again, you were the first thing that had changed. I think you're the way we're going to get out of here."

She frowned and shook her head. "Why didn't you just tell me that earlier?"

His expression hardened. "Because I…I think I'm—"

He was cut off by a gunshot. He grunted in pain and Myra saw a spray of blood from his right arm.

It didn't take her long to find the sniper; it was a masked Haunted standing on the rooftop of one of the houses nearby.

"Shit," she said, moving to Sebastian and pulling him down behind a sedan that blocked the sniper's view of them. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," he said with only a slight grimace as he pulled his hand away from his wounded arm to see it covered in blood.

"Just stay low," she told him, even though she knew she didn't need to. She loaded the sniper rifle he'd given her and, with her back against the car, slid herself to the trunk end, away from Seb. She turned and aimed the rifle toward the Haunted, but she'd barely found him through the scope when a shot _crunch_ ed into the car a few inches from her. She cursed and ducked down again. This wasn't going to work. Other than that he was wearing a metal mask, he was expecting her. The moment she was within view, he would fire.

She scanned the area to see if there was anything she could use to her advantage.

"Grenade?" Sebastian suggested, watching her search.

She shook her head. "I don't think so. It'll roll off the roof before it explodes."

Just then, the door of a house across the street from them burst open and five or more Haunted stalked out and spread across the yard toward them, some swinging axes.

"Fuck," Seb growled as he pulled out his pistol with his left hand. "Don't worry about them, just focus on the sniper. I'll cover you."

She nodded. She'd gotten an idea of how to deal with the situation but she had no way to know if it would work.

There was a car parked a way off down the street. It was within throwing distance and had its driver-side window cracked, but not broken. Her plan was a gamble, but if it worked, this would be over fast.

No rocks or other heavy object lay conveniently within reach, so she pulled out the bulky knife she'd stolen from a Haunted. She held the rifle steady with one hand and used the other to hurl the knife hard at the car. Her aim was impeccable. The window shattered and the car's alarm sounded off. Immediately, she took aim at the sniper. He'd taken a moment to find the source of the ruckus and had his head turned just enough that she could aim near his ear, where the mask didn't cover.

She fired and watched his head blow into pieces.

"Got 'im," she told Sebastian as she pressed her back to the car again and switched the rifle for the shotgun.

"I love you," he responded almost distractedly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Myra felt a shot of something—guilt?—in her gut as she pumped the shotgun to ready it. She was reminded of their situation: remembering him, but not; having feelings for him, but not. All while he remembered everything.

She pushed it from her mind and stood to fire a few rounds at the remaining Haunted. Sebastian had done well, considering he was shooting left-handed, but there were more of them than she'd thought. One charged her before she could shoot it and she dove out of the way as it swung its axe. The axe hit the car and left a nasty gash in its exterior. The Haunted saw Sebastian, who was working on standing up without using either arm, and pulled back to swing at him instead.

Myra lunged, slamming the heavyset creature against the car with all her bodyweight in her forearm. She worked off of instinct, twisting his axe-arm behind his back as if she were in the process of arresting him, then swinging the shotgun around with her right arm and firing into the back of his head.

A last shot from Sebastian's pistol signaled the end of the creatures.

Myra let out a breath. "You have any more syringes?"

Seb was wiping blood off the side of his face from when Myra blew the head off the Haunted by the car. "No, or I would've used one on this." He nodded to his arm, where half the sleeve of his shirt was stained red. "You need one?"

"No, I was thinking of you. Are you sure this place is worth going to?"

He holstered his pistol, the grip of which was now patched with crimson. "It's not like there's anywhere to go to avoid those things. Besides, if the way out of here has something to do with you, this might be the place to go."

She nodded. "Fine. Are we close?"

"Just a few streets over."


	5. Chapter 5

Sebastian felt cold nostalgia creep into his stomach as they neared the house. Before STEM, he'd of course thought that he would never see this place again.

It was a modest house, with pale brown siding and a red door. To anyone else, it wouldn't have stood out as being any different than the rest of the homes on this street.

In this case, however, it was the only building not in ruins. In fact, it looked pristine.

He looked to Myra. She was frowning at it, but not, it seemed, out of recognition.

"I take it this is it?"

"That's it," Sebastian said in a resigned kind of tone. He didn't exactly love the idea of going in there, but what choice did he have? It was the only place he could think to go.

He started toward the door, but stopped before reaching it and turned to Myra, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Myra. You said you wanted to remember more. _I_ want you to remember more. But if this triggers anything…these aren't happy memories. Sometimes I wish I could forget them."

She looked at him with those cool gray eyes and just said, "Okay." As if mentally bracing herself.

He gave a single nod and strode up to open the door. It was silent as it swung away to reveal the living room beyond. Cherrywood, muted greens and yellows. The ceiling fan spun slowly, as if by an intangible breeze.

Myra stepped in behind him and he could see her anguish in trying to recall something just out of grasp.

"Is that her?" Myra asked, crossing to the hall, where a picture hung slightly crooked. She lifted it off the wall. "Our daughter, I mean."

Sebastian moved up to her to look over her shoulder. "That's Lily," he confirmed quietly. Lily was about four in the picture; she wore a little red cotton dress and a headband to match. Her grin could almost make Sebastian smile, even now.

She was beautiful. She had Sebastian's dark eyes and dark hair, but Myra's features and skin tone. Even as young as she was, she had been wonderful to get to know as she grew. She had Myra's stubbornness—along with that of a typical toddler—and her quick learning. She had Sebastian's boldness and compassion.

"What happened to her?" Myra asked with a little hint of dread in her voice.

Seb's jaw tightened. He'd hoped she would remember so he wouldn't have to tell her. He remembered that day so vividly….

He opened his mouth to speak when suddenly the building erupted in flames.

They weren't real flames—they were translucent and watery in appearance, and gave off no heat. Still, they made Myra and Sebastian start slightly.

Myra looked around. "Oh, god, no."

"This was what happened," Sebastian said flatly, grimly. Inside, his heartbeat pounded more than it should, and something immaterial caught in his throat.

They heard a young girl's scream from upstairs.

"Don't—" Myra started, but Sebastian was already gone.

He knew it would do no good as he shoved open the bedroom door—which was in flames—and saw the two people inside. The nanny, Mrs. Flores, the widow who'd always taken care of Lily any time Sebastian and Myra couldn't. And of course, Lily herself, tears from either smoke or fear running down her face.

Seb was vaguely aware of Myra approaching behind him, but he couldn't spare a glance as he watched the panicked Mrs. Flores try to pry the window open. It wouldn't budge for some reason, and it didn't take long for her to give up and start to look around to room for anything, anything to get them out.

Lily wasn't screaming or crying, just holding a stuffed tiger tightly to her chest and watching her nanny in confusion and terror.

Sebastian couldn't help but drop to his knees and reach out for his daughter's hand, but of course he passed right through the image of her.

Mrs. Flores ran to Lily and knelt to hug her as the fire drew in around them.

Seb stood and turned away, shoving past Myra in the doorway, saying, "I can't—I just can't."

He collapsed to sitting at the bottom step and covered his ears so he couldn't hear what happened upstairs. He closed his eyes and tried fiercely to shut down his mind.

It seemed like forever before he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He looked up to see Myra stepping down to sit next to him. Her expression was numb with sorrow and she had tears sliding silently down her cheeks.

"It's over," she whispered.

He put an arm around her and took a moment to regain his composure. He had to remember where he was now—STEM, not home—and _who_ he was now—a detective, not a father.

They heard muffled sirens from approaching fire trucks and police cars outside. Neither of them spoke as they stood and went to the door.

Outside, a ghostly police vehicle lurched to a halt on the street and Sebastian and Myra stepped out of it, horror and disbelief on both their translucent white faces. Sebastian had replayed this moment in his head more times than he could count, but standing here, watching it…. He felt an unparalleled rage at the world and at himself.

He wasn't supposed to have been at work that day. He and Myra often took opposite days so they wouldn't have to leave Lily with someone else, but he'd decided to pick up an extra shift.

One decision, and it changed everything.

He had regrets about how he'd been a father. For much of Lily's infancy, Myra had stayed home and he'd worked. He hadn't done much of the dirty work, been gone too often. Once Myra went back to work, she went back fully, leaving Sebastian at home with Lily more. He'd started doing most of the parenting before she turned three. Even then, though, he had to admit that sometimes he wanted to get away, leave Myra with the child again, or leave someone else with her so he could be fully invested in Myra again, like the old days.

But that didn't mean he didn't love her. Weary as he'd been taking care of her, there was an _excitement_ in being parent, in watching this beautiful young thing grow up. He'd wondered what she would look like as a teenager, or as an adult; wondered what her passions would be.

So nothing—nothing could compare to the regret he felt about taking that shift.

The ghostly Myra leaned heavily against Sebastian, staring at the house with an emptiness that said she was shutting down so completely that maybe even this tragedy couldn't seep through. He put his arms around her shoulders, and then the image disappeared.

"I'm starting to remember," the real Myra said in a broken voice.

Seb looked over at her and almost wished he could take all of this back, make her forget again. When he planned to come here, he hadn't known they would have to see this all over again.

But for better or worse, he had his wife back.


	6. Chapter 6

"I can't go in there again," Myra said, turning back to the house. "Not yet."

Sebastian nodded—he probably felt the same—and looked to the house next door. "We might as well find somewhere to rest for now. We have a couple hours at most; the sun's starting to go down and I don't think this place has power."

They both had weapons at the ready as Sebastian kicked open the door to the house. It promptly flew off its hinges.

"Well shit," he muttered.

The layout of the house was similar to the one they'd just been in, but it wasn't in perfect condition; picture frames and glass were scattered across the floor, the wallpaper was peeling, and the boards creaked loudly beneath their feet. Still, they didn't find any Haunted and it was, at least, absent of thickly-hanging memories in the air.

"I'll check upstairs," Seb said. "You see if there's anything useful to keep from here."

She nodded. She searched the place as told, but her mind was far away.

Her memory was a puzzle with a quarter of the pieces missing; she was getting the view of the whole picture, but there were confusing gaps and missing details. It wasn't exactly overwhelming to have the fog lift from her mind. Once she remembered, it seemed only natural. Even so, she had renewed sadness about what she and Sebastian had been through. Why them? Why Lily? Something was off about it. Something she couldn't quite recall.

She pulled herself away from her own thoughts as she realized she hadn't heard anything from Sebastian in a while. The upper floor couldn't be that big.

With a frown, she pulled out the shotgun again and went up the stairs as quietly as possible. The master bedroom was empty, though a dead body swung from a noose hung above the foot of the bed. She went to the other room and found Sebastian in a corner, pointing his pistol at something invisible or nonexistent at the opposite end of the room.

"No," he muttered. "You're gone. You're dead."

"Sebastian?" Myra said slowly, keeping near the door enough that she could back out of the room if he tried to shoot at her.

It took him a moment to respond, but then his gaze flicked to her. Then back to whatever he thought he saw. This time, though, he must not have seen it, because he blinked, frowned, and shook his head. He looked down at the pistol in his hand and dropped it, putting his hand around his forehead as if he had a terrible headache.

"Are you okay?" Myra said, going up to him and putting her hand on the side of his face. He looked slightly dazed, as if coming out of a trance, and he must've done something to strain the wound in his arm, since it was bleeding again.

"I'm going crazy," he said distantly, finally making eye contact with her. "I've been here so long…I'm fucking losing it."

Myra shook her head resolutely. "No, you're not. And it doesn't matter, we're getting out soon."

He just looked at her with his perpetual frown and said, "Let's go back downstairs. There's nothing up here."

She let her hand slip away from his face and backed away so he could head for the door. He seemed agitated, but resigned. For his sake, she hoped what she'd said was right and they really would be able to wake up from this soon.

She followed him back downstairs and pulled out some of the first aid she'd found in a closet while she was searching the house earlier. There was no spoken communication between them about it; he saw her walk in with bandages and antibiotic and just sat down—on the floor, since all the furniture was broken or similarly questionable—leaving his arm available.

"What will it take, do you think?" she asked as she sat and pulled Seb's knife from his belt so she could start cutting off his sleeve. "Getting out, I mean."

He shook his head. "I don't know. Last time it was…gruesome. But that's not exactly something I can do again, so I have no idea."

"Why would you ever come back here?"

"I don't remember. This place, it…it just messes with you. It's like falling asleep; you never remember the moment it happened. Now, you…I don't know why you lost all your memory. Maybe because the system isn't what it used to be. I didn't even think it could run without a host, but who knows?"

She nodded, frowning. "This is going to hurt," she warned as she poured a cleaning solution onto a cloth and started using it on the entry and exit wounds from the bullet. Seb's jaw clenched, but he remained perfectly still.

"I remember more than just the bad things," she said after a short silence. "I remember when we first met." She smirked. "I think you were smitten from day one."

He frowned. "I was _interested._ "

"Hmm. Maybe. But I knew you were 'interested' long before you actually told me. You were easier to read then. How…how did you propose?"

It was the first smile she'd seen on him since they'd just escaped the cat-monster. "I asked you to come to my office at KCPD and just dropped to one knee right there. I knew you'd think some extravagantly planned evening was overkill."

She smiled and nodded. "Sounds like me." She lifted Sebastian's arm and he held it up for her as she wrapped an antibiotic-covered bandage around his upper bicep.

"Syringes are a hell of a lot easier, huh?" he asked her when she'd finished.

"You think?" she said with a tired smile. This whole experience, especially since she met up with Seb, had been draining the energy out of her.

"Thanks," he said as he stood and removed the crossbow from his back so he could pull on his trench coat, which now she remembered she'd given him years ago. "You ready to go?"

"No," she answered honestly, slightly surprised he was already thinking of going back. "I thought we'd stay a little longer. We haven't stopped this whole time. You've been here so long—don't you want a break?"

"I want to get out," he said bluntly, but not rudely. He sat next to her.

They spent the next hour just sitting on the thin bedroll with their backs up against the broken couch, sometimes talking, sometimes in silence. It was then that Myra truly loved Sebastian as her husband. Though he was different in many ways than she remembered—from his unkempt hair to the faint scent of the cigarettes that she'd thought he'd mostly stopped using once he started working for KCPD—there were so many things that were familiar, too—from his manner of speaking, low and steady and surprisingly calming, to the scar on his upper lip and the gold wedding band on his left hand.

Still, she couldn't stop thinking of what she'd seen in the house they would have to return to so soon. Her daughter, whom she very much remembered now, burning to death? That wasn't something she was going to forget for a long, long time.


	7. Chapter 7

Spending time with Myra, doing nothing, was one of the best things that had happened to Sebastian in a long time. Yet he knew he'd much rather do it in person than in this corner of some communal mind. Anyway, they were running out of time as the sun went down. Eventually he stood, Myra looked at him and nodded, and they gathered the weapons.

As certain as he was that the house was the way out, he couldn't help but get a bad feeling about going over there. It wouldn't be as simple as looking around for a mirror or a door that would get them out. STEM never made things easy.

The afternoon sunlight was something of a relief from the dark buildings and caves Sebastian had spent most of his time in. It almost made the eerie neighborhood seem pleasant.

Before they'd made it to the steps of the porch, the front door burst open and a familiar monster leapt out, slamming into Sebastian and knocking him off his feet. His head hit the concrete sidewalk hard and pain split through his skull. Dizzy, his vision clouded, he rolled over onto his hands and knees and choked out a few coughs as he regained his breath. He heard Myra's shotgun fire several times.

Struggling to his feet, he pulled out his crossbow and loaded a bolt into it. Myra was keeping the cat-like creature at bay with as rapid fire as she could manage from the pump-action gun, but he knew soon she'd have to refill the clip. He took aim with the crossbow and pulled the trigger. The bolt sank into the monster's side and it turned toward him, snarling.

Finally, he could see it fully. It was huge; its back came up nearly to his shoulders, its body half covered with fur, half bloodied flesh. It had metal spikes sticking out from all over its shoulders.

But by far, its head was the most horrifying. Its normal mouth was sewn shut; instead, a gaping maw of huge, chaotic teeth split its face in two vertically. Its eyes were an oozing yellow.

It charged at Sebastian and he dove out of the way, using his momentum to roll up to one knee. He snapped another bolt into place and pulled it back, firing before the beast could turn around.

"Shit," he cursed as he reached for another bolt to find there wasn't one.

He dropped the crossbow in the grass and got out his pistol instead.

The cat creature crouched to pounce, its gaze flicking between Myra and Sebastian, trying to decide who to jump for.

"Back away," Myra said. "Slowly."

He cast a glance back to her and saw her holding a grenade, ready to throw. He backed away as she said, causing the monster to look to him.

She threw just as it pounced. The explosion went off right behind it, knocking its trajectory off course and causing it to land in the grass on its side. It leapt to its feet again even as Sebastian fired at it, but he could see it favoring its left back leg.

The creature turned back toward the house and bounded up to leap onto the roof. It quickly disappeared over the crest of the roof, not fleeing, it seemed, as much as making a tactical decision.

"Fuck," Myra said, turning to Sebastian. "I'm out of ammo. You have any more for the shotgun?"

He shook his head. "No. Dammit." He kept glancing back to the roof. "Here, take my pistol. I'll use the rifle."

"You sure?" They were about twenty feet apart. Myra started toward him.

"Yeah, just— _Myra!_ "

She turned just as the monster crashed into her from above, slamming her into the grass. It latched onto her shoulder with its teeth, stepping off her and starting to pull her across the ground.

Sebastian lifted the pistol and fired at the thing's shoulder, not aiming for its head for fear of hitting his wife. It hardly flinched. He started to shoot toward its back leg, wasting a few bullets but eventually hitting it. The creature hissed and dropped Myra, turning toward him instead.

He was getting low on ammo. He waited for the monster to pounce, then dropped and let it land behind him. Without even looking, he tossed a grenade of his own over his shoulder and let it explode as he ran to Myra and dropped to his knees beside her.

Her chest was heaving as she tried to breathe, her eyes fixed on the sky. The bite enclosed more than just her shoulder; it might have even punctured a lung, by the way she struggled to breathe.

"Shit. _Fuck._ Hang on, Myra—stay with me."

He looked back at the monster, which was limping badly now, its whole side burnt black. Seb lifted his pistol and fired his last two shots at its head. One shot landed and the other missed as the beast launched itself at him one last time. His only thought was to turn to cover Myra, but with hardly any awareness of what he was doing, he lifted a hand toward the creature, as if that could stop it.

And it burst into pieces.

Feeling dazed, his heart pounding, Sebastian stared at the remnants of the monster. Was that—did he…? It was something he'd only ever seen Ruvik do.

He couldn't dwell on it. He turned back to Myra, who was still gasping, now starting to choke on her own blood. This was far beyond anything he could fix with a first-aid kit. He needed a fucking miracle, which meant he needed a syringe.

He searched two whole houses before he finally found something in the trunk of a car. He didn't even know how long she could hold on, but he had no choice but to look for something. What he found in the trunk was even better than a syringe; it was a medkit.

Myra wasn't breathing by the time he got back, but she still had some color in her face and her wounds were still bleeding profusely, which meant her heart was still pumping.

He dug the huge syringe needle from the medkit into her chest and delivered whatever was in it into her. He rolled her onto her side so the blood wouldn't keep building up in her trachea, but it only took a few moments for the serum to do its work. Watching the wounds close up in front of him was creepy, but beyond relieving.

She gave a strangled cry and sat upright, her eyes wild.

"Myra," he said as calmly as he could manage.

She looked at him, her eyes not quite focusing, then starting to cough up blood onto the both of them. Sebastian held her hair, most of which had fallen from its band, out of her face while she did.

"Seb…" she said vaguely when she could finally breathe again. She wiped her mouth with her sleeve, leaving a smear of blood on the light blue cloth.

"Jesus Christ," Seb exhaled, and he hugged her.

"What happened to it?" Myra asked, looking at the pieces of monster in the grass.

Sebastian turned back to look at it. "I don't know. I think…I willed it to die, and it did."

"What?"

"It doesn't matter." He stood—his head throbbed in protest—and helped Myra to her feet. "You okay?"

She looked much better already—probably better than he did—and nodded. "Let's get the fuck out of here."

They approached the house with more caution this time, though it and the neighborhood were completely silent.

"I remember," Myra said once she was in the doorway.

Sebastian turned back to look at her. She leaned against the doorframe, staring at the floor. She'd tied all her hair back again.

"I remember everything now," she said slowly. "I don't know why, but as soon as I woke up after that thing bit me, it all came rushing back."

He couldn't keep himself from asking—it was the one thing he'd thought about most since Myra appeared. "You remember leaving? Or being taken—whatever happened. You left a package, that was all—a letter and some files. You said we may never see each other again."

She nodded. "I know I did."

"Why?" His tone didn't match the desperation he felt. "Why would you throw away everything for that? I know what it's like; I did it too, but only because I didn't have anyone left—Joseph, maybe, but things changed between us, too. It didn't matter what happened to me, as long as I could figure it out."

"I don't know," she said quietly.

Sebastian started to say something, then closed his mouth again. "What?"

She finally looked up and met his gaze. There was something of a realization about her. "I don't know why I left. I don't know any more than you do."

He shook his head in confusion. "But you just said—"

She interrupted him by crossing the space between them, putting her hands on either side of his face, and giving him a brief kiss, and it felt so real. "I mean I _can't_ know any more than you do. I'm just a part of your mind."

He took her wrists and pulled them away from him slowly, as if in shock. "No. No, you—"

"Think about it, Seb," she said. "Have I said anything yet that you didn't already know?"

"But it doesn't make sense," he pleaded. "This isn't all _my_ mind. I can't just create a whole person."

She shook her head. "But it is your mind. How do you think you willed that monster to disappear? Why do you think we appeared in Krimson City just when we needed to?"

Sebastian felt something inside him crash in, not in an emotional or dramatic way—in fact, quite the opposite. It crashed and settled, bringing him a heavy dose of apathy.

"You're right," he said. "I've seen myself do things only Ruvik and Leslie could do; only the two who had some conscious control over what happened."

Myra nodded. She looked sad. "I'm sorry, Sebastian. I'm only here because you wanted so badly for me—for her—to come back."

He turned away. It was time to get out of here.

Myra—or whatever she was, really—was silent as he looked around the house. It didn't take him long to notice what was out of place. An extra door where he knew there hadn't been a room. He opened it and saw a set of steps leading down into a dark hallway. The darkness reached for him.

He glanced back to Myra. She was nearby, watching with her sharp eyes, but saying nothing.

He went down the steps into the darkness. The hallway ended in the form of a door after just a few yards. The door was a kind of bluish-green, with a small barred window at eye-level. It was familiar; it was from Beacon Mental Hospital. Pushing it open, he found a tiny room with no door at the other end. Its off-white walls were padded, like a solitary confinement cell for someone mentally unstable.

An ammunition box sat on the floor. With a frown, Seb picked it up and slid it open to find a single pistol bullet laying inside. His brain didn't register that for a moment and he just looked at it.

Then it clicked.

"No," he said under his breath. He dumped the bullet out into his palm. "No, there's got to be another way."

"How did you get out last time?" Myra asked from behind him. If he didn't feel so numb, he might've started. "Destroy the host." Her voice sounded sad still and he didn't look at her.

"If I die in here, I die out there."

"Yes. Not a guarantee, but more likely than anything."

He closed his hand around the bullet and turned to her where she stood in the doorway. "I can't do this."

She shrugged helplessly. "There's only one way out. You can stay here forever, let them use you and the system. Or you can end it. All of it."

"Even if I do this, they could just find a new host and start the system again," he said with a hint of bitterness.

She shook her head. "Maybe, but think about that paper you found in the folder. It wasn't easy to force the system to work with your mind instead of its original host. You almost died in the process. And now you're losing your sanity…. It would be a waste of resources they probably don't have—it could very well be the end of the STEM system." She paused. "Take that as you will."

Sebastian turned slowly to look at the room around him. All of his time searching for a way out and it led him to this.

But in the same, he knew what STEM could really be. The opportunity to destroy it was in his hands once again. Would that not be more important than anything he'd ever done as a detective?

He reached under his trench coat to pull out his pistol and load the bullet into it. He spun the cylinder back into place.

This gun was the first one KCPD had ever given him. Sebastian didn't really grow fond of things, not like this, but he'd managed to keep the same gun during his entire time as a detective. It had scratches and dents in areas—mostly from STEM, not from anything that had really happened—but it still held the same pride, the same confidence it had when he'd first pulled it out of a holster. He'd used it here more than he'd ever used it out there, but it felt a little like home.

He lifted it. The barrel felt cool against his temple.

He turned and looked at Myra. When he spoke, he spoke to the real Myra, not this apparition, though he knew she couldn't hear him. "I loved you, Myra. I may never have found what you were looking for, what tore us apart—but I want you to know that everything I did, _everything,_ was for the sake of our family."

The apparition of Myra smiled a bit and nodded, her eyes sparkling with tears.

Sebastian pulled the trigger.


	8. Epilogue

The room had been quiet for a while when the monitor started to beep.

At first Myra Castellanos paid no mind. Someone else was there to oversee the patients.

Then the beeping changed to a higher alert.

"Myra, did you hear anything about this? Are we expecting a system change?"

She turned and stood, walking over to the man clicking keys on the keyboard next to the problematic monitor. "No. Not that I'm aware of. What's causing it, the system or the host?"

He shook his head. "Can't tell. I'm thinking it's him. Let me go see if I can get some help."

She gave a vague nod and stepped up to the monitor herself. " _Vital signs critical"_ the warning flashed.

"What are you doing?" she asked under her breath, turning to look at the occupant of the tub next to her.

He looked peaceful, as if he were asleep and simply dreaming.

Myra had never been inside the STEM system, but she knew the sorts of things that could happen there. It was no dream.

 _"_ _System failing"_ a second warning read, appearing below the first.

She frowned and typed a few commands into the computer, trying to keep the system stable. They seemed to have no effect.

"You're going to crash the whole program, aren't you?"

He stirred slightly. She turned back to the keyboard and this time tried to stabilize his vitals, hoping that could preserve STEM. She could hear noise down the hallway, people coming to try to save the situation.

Movement drew her gaze back to him and she saw that his eyelids were flickering, his head turning ever so slightly side to side. He even opened his eyes almost fully, but they didn't focus on anything before falling shut again. Myra wondered for a moment if he was going to just wake up.

The monitor alert changed to one solid tone. A flatline. He stopped moving.

 _No. No! You can't just take down the system like that._

STEM was gone.

Sebastian Castellanos was gone.

And just like that, it was all over.


End file.
